After a month of being around other people, partying & socialising, coming back to solitude is both a relief & anxiety-provoking.
After my mind adjusted to the presence of people all around, that was where I felt most comfortable, with snatches of being alone while working or meditating.
I’m finding the readjustment process to solo life quite challenging. It’s interesting watching the anxiety & boredom rise up from my abdomen to my chest, and as I don’t give it fuel, just observing it passively, it is slowly released out of my system.
And yet, my most productive, most satisfying moments have all been spent in solitude: practicing guitar for 5 hours straight, sitting in the wilderness or looking at the sunset, spending hours on the beach alternately soaking in the sun & the surf, writing or producing music, working out outdoors, going for a solo run on the trails, immersed deeply in an exceptional book.
The one exception is when I’ve been with one or two other MALE friends, hiking in silence or tossing a frisbee back & forth on the beach.
Maybe another is when you’re engaged in a collective ‘trance’ state when at music festivals or at the cool club in town, everyone attuned & gyrating to the rhythmic carrier wave of the music.
It’s difficult to be in the flow state consistently when around others. It’s particularly difficult to do so around members of the opposite sex, no matter how enlightened you think you are, or even if you already have a partner. There’s always an underlying sexual tension, subtle as it may be, that’s surreptitiously pulling the strings of your actions & thoughts when you interact with members of the opposite sex.
Also impossible to be in flow is around people who talk a lot, & constantly force you to engage with them. These are the worst kind of people you can be around if you want to do any kind of thinking or creative or contemplative work. These people derive all their energy from external stimulus & attention, & will constantly look to you to charge up their own reserves.
These kind of extroverts are great to party with, not great to work with.
Add to this the neuroticism & restlessness that comes from living in the big cities & you have a recipe for disaster when spending extended time with your friends from the city.
Hermits living away from people, spending their days engaging in contemplation & meditation have always been looked upon as highest examples of human potential & development, venerated in almost all traditions around the world.
Take some time & space for yourself & find your own personal Walden. It just may be the best thing you’ll ever do.
I write. Sometimes. Read. A Lot. Probably think a little too much for my own good. Love music, in all its various forms and permutations. Have a thing for altered states. Get in touch, I don't bite. :)
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