Mysterious Komorebi

How many people were doing what I was doing today?

 

Standing in a cool shaded forest, with sunlight filtering through the foliage, doing my movement training in the still, cool morning air.

It was then I noticed her. She swayed to an invisible music, the energy moving her to & fro, and then side to side, gyrating in still perfection.

I felt the forest speak through her, as if she were a conduit of emotions & feelings, empathic telepathy with the surroundings.

In the swing of her hips I saw the stream snaking its way through the forest. Her sharp inhale sent tingles of icy warmth down my spine.

It reminded me at once of the chill of the cold winter night as well as the warm glow of the welcome campfire stroking my palms & cheeks.

Her fingers created mudras that stirred ancient memories, a ghostly familiarity that I could not shake.

I stood there, transfixed, & time stood still with me, unwilling to let the glorious spectacle end. I think I found the perfect word to describe her.

Komorebi.

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Liquid

She flows all over the place.

 

She’s hard to pin down. Rebutting every advance of mine. Expertly dodging & weaving, almost at hand but just out of reach. I’m her plaything, & she knows it.

And she is mine too. I stubbornly hold my ground, refusing to be swayed by her charms. She gets frustrated when she can’t get me to do as she wants, but I notice the sly smile she tries so hard to hide, but which occasionally escapes as she glances my way.

The spark intensifies. And the attraction kindles into a fire. We both dance around each other, entranced, gyrating in unison, as if guided by an invisible music silently nudging us ever closer.

She is fluid.

She is liquid.

Polarity

Women are strange creatures.

 

There are times when they rejoice in pain, and others when even the most beautiful advances are unwelcome.

They flow with the tide of their own emotions, like liquid phases of the moon.

Their diurnal rhythm takes them through an incredible spectrum of emotions, feelings & moods. I wish I could experience but a sliver of that spectrum of whimsy. But as I am only a man I cannot flow in spontaneity like the feminine.

I can only hold my centre, still as an anchor stone, to which the feminine may come home to rest.

I cannot hold her restricted, nor can she sway me from my place. Immovable object meeting unstoppable force, a whirlwind of ecstacy rears up, until at last our furies die down. Weak. Spent. Vulnerable. Entwined.

This polarity of feminine & masculine is what creates this spark, the friction of incompatibility. Without it there would be nothing. Only boredom.

Like unfamiliar wild animals circling each other, sniffing, feeling each other out, probing, we circle each other, curious about what makes the other so different from ourselves.

Polarity.

Free

What is sex really supposed to be like?

 

Skinned knees, bruises, atleast one busted digit, scratches & a a marked inability of the female to walk afterwards.

Primal. Animalistic. Raging. Urgent. Violent.

Wrists rubbed raw, hair pulled hard.

Noisy. Frantic. Thrashing. Submissive. Overpowered.

Lofty dreams rooted to base desires, longing for, lusting after release, & then another. And another, until there is nothing left of you to give.

Spent. Weary. Weak. Shaky.

Your fragrance on the pillow. Crumpled sheets. Clothes lying ransacked.

Glowing. Flushed. Entwined. Free.

Books for Men: A Male-oriented Reading List

fight club

 

I love the movie Fight Club. I especially love watching it with a bunch of guys, with a few beers thrown into the mix.

 

I’ve talked to so many women who’ve watched the film & thought it was ‘a nice movie’. Comments about Brad Pitt usually follow. :^)

 

The conclusion I’ve come to is the overwhelming majority of the female audience couldn’t relate with the themes presented in it.

 

fight club pamphlet

 

I suppose the fair equivalent would be me watching the Ya Ya Sisterhood & being left confused by what I was seeing play out on-screen.

 

I’d argue that fight club is one of the few movies which deals with themes of male existential & spiritual challenges without giving into the trope of the damaged male who’s looking for salvation. While such nihilistic fantasies make for good drama, these films always overdo it. Men move on much quicker from loss, as long as they’re not trapped in circumstances which prevent future-orientation.

 

If I had to phrase it in one sentence:
Women play The Sims, men play Call of Duty

 

There is this huge divide between how the masculine & feminine each find meaning in life. Any self-development book or resource which overlooks this basic difference in drive & motivation will fall flat (and they do).

 

So with that out of the way, here it is, the totally for masculine men (& boys who want to become like them) Essential Reading List.

 

The List

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Ultimate Cheatsheet to Dressing Well for Indian Men

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It might be difficult to be fashionable, but having great style is pretty straightforward, atleast for men

One thing that has been a gamechanger for me is to never buy individual items, but to always buy complete outfits, and buy colours that go together with each other so you can mix & match.

Another very important thing you need to do is choose colours according to one’s skin tone.

Dark colours look great on fair guys, while darker guys should wear lighter colours (but they almost never do).

 

 

The Basics

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Simple combo of dark denims & a light shirt (dark-light), along with light/tan shoes
Both are essentials for a wardrobe because they go with so much else. I apologise for the potato quality photo.

 

 

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This is the reverse – tan khakis, white linen shirt, black blazer, and black shoes

 

 

 

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One mistake Indian guys make is wearing dark & dark combos. You should go for this only if you’re fair. If you’re dark, this kind of outfit will look pretty shitty on you

 

 

 

Mostly you just go light and dark alternates. They almost always work.

 

If you’re going for the classy casual look, the easiest way is to wear white. You’ll stand out. It’s really rare for people to wear white here for some reason. Everyone dresses dark.

 

Get a grey undershirt to wear with your white shirt unless you don’t mind your nipples showing, heh heh.

 

Why grey & not white?

 

That’s because grey is invisible under white, while a white undershirt shows a clear outline.

 

Here are a few more examples to see how the basics are where the magic is:

 

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Notice they all have atleast ONE accessory to complement the outfit, else it looks too boring. Keep clothes basics & use accessories like socks, scarves & other stuff to add a dash of style to clothes.

Match light bottoms with dark tops & vice versa .

One question probably running through most of your minds is you have to be fit first to look good in these outfits.

The short answer is that’s not completely true, but getting fitter is one of the best ways to improve how your clothes fit on you. While each brand has a certain fit according to who their target customers are, ususally clothes fit best when you are lean & slightly more muscled than average.

The shoulder to waist ratio is a huge driver of how attractive you look, both in clothes & *ahem* out of them.

 

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Check out this guy. Pretty skinny, but his dressing is on point

 

If you’re trying to get fit & don’t know where to start, check out My Fitness Blog.

 

 

Building your wardrobe: The essentials 

OK, so now you have a rudimentary understanding of what looks good, what doesn’t & a few examples of how to throw combinations together. So how do you go about building your wardrobe?

 

Buy these items first, there’s a reason they’re called essentials. These items are IN ORDER OF PRIORITY from top to bottom.

 

White linen shirt
Indigo denims

 

Light checked shirt

 

Khaki chinos
Dark patterned shirt

 

Black leather shoes
Black leather belt (don’t be the fancy buckle guy please. You know who you are)

 

Classic blue denims

 

Grey woollen pants

 

Tan leather shoes (Oxfords not brogues)
Matching tan leather belt (see above disclaimer)
'Kingsman: The Secret Service' Blu-ray and DVD release, London, Britain - 03 Jun 2015

Oxfords, not Brogues

 

Dust denims

 

Black trousers (move these up if you need to get formal wear first)

 

Converse or similar-styled sneakers (for casual wear)

 

A word about sports shoes: Have you seen older gentlemen wearing formal clothing with white reeboks. Leave the running shoes & trainers for the gym or track. Wear normal sneakers instead.
Sports shoes with formal wear

Oh hell no

 

Heavy boots. Hard-toed ones are great.

 

 

Accessories 

Unfortunately, I don’t believe this is something that can be learnt from a blog post. See what other guys are wearing, browse around online & see what attracts you the most. Good taste cannot be taught, it has to be cultivated & refined over time.

 

So what are some good brands? 

To some degree, this’ll be subjective, but these are brands that make clothing that I find fits me well.

 

Jack & Jones

 

Gap

 

H&M

 

J. Crew

 

Banana Republic

 

Zara (be cautious with this one. I’ve had more than one person tell me their clothes seem to be sort of flimsy. Planned obsolescence)

 

American Eagle
Another brand that has some weird fitting shirts (unless oversized collar & extra-length sleeves are your thing) . Go for these if it goes with the look you’re trying to pull off.
They have great denims though.

 

Remember, buy fewer outfits, but better ones. You don’t need to shop every 3 months.

 

 

 

 

 

Tips & Recommendations

  • Always buy clothes at sales, never otherwise
  • Dress for the occasion, but it’s better to be overdressed rather than to be underdressed
  • You’ll be spending the most on shoes. That’s the one thing you can never skimp on. A good pair of leather shoes will last you a decade or more.

If you’re a little observant, you’ll notice that the first thing girls check out are your shoes: Always!  Ask any of your female friends.

  • Protip: When lacking inspiration I usually just look at what attractive guys are wearing at clubs & reverse engineer the look.
  • Wear solid denims & let them fade with use rather than buying prefaded denims
  • Get more light coloured shirts and tees

 

Mistakes to Avoid

  • Trousers shouldn’t have pleats unless you’re 60 years old & can’t be assed to change your dressing style
  • Throw out all polos that aren’t a solid colour (no stripes)

 

Russian_tracksuit

Just. No. Unless you’re Russian, & can sit in the squat position comfortably for more than an hour

  • Branded Apparel
Unless you’re trying to fit into a certain subculture (like the guys in Ed Hardy tshirts traipsing along the whole Andheri-Juhu-Lokhandwala belt) avoid all brand name mentions on your clothes.

 

Remember, you’re buying their clothes, you don’t also have to advertise for them. Leave that to women & their handbags. :^)

 

I admit I have a few tees like this, but I acquired them during a less enlightened phase of my life. I wouldn’t do it again.

 

Instead, if you’re buying tees for casual daytime use, buy something which displays your passions or sense of humour. It’s easy now. Go buy that GOT tee you’ve been eyeballing.

 

For evening wear, you want to buy plain tees, & layer them with a nice jacket.

 

One last thing, if trying to dress well, t-shirts are a tough look to pull off if you’re not in great shape.
  • Sandals with socks

These will kill any attraction women might have towards you in an instant

 

  •  On the same note, definitely NO CROCS. Wear regular beach slippers instead.

 

 

Odds & Ends

Socks

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Watches

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Cheatsheets to take things to the Next Level

Quick & Easy Colour Combinations.jpg

Dressing sharp with only 13 items.jpg

I don’t think anyone should need any more cheatsheets

 

 

Do you have questions, tips or interesting stories, leave a comment & I’ll try to help as best as I can.

 

Historical Books & Essays on India

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A Selection of Books

A Brief History of The Indian Peoples – Sir William Wilson Hunter (1908)

A Geography of India – George Patterson (1909)

The Arts & Crafts of India & Ceylon – Ananda Coomaraswamy (1913)

The Status of Women in India – Dayaram Gidumal Shahani (1889)

Encyclopedia of Indian Physical Culture – DC Mujumdar (1950)

Invasions of India from Central Asia – Anon (1879)

More Resources

The Rare Book Society of India

Digital Library India