Hostels, Love, Duality & Delhi girls

I came out into the dark of the courtyard for some cold air & space & to smoke a cigarette.
I was surprised to find other people who had had the same idea already staking out territories on the slate covered walkway, which gleamed dully like a singular trail in the forest determined to lead weary travellers in the right direction, in spite of themselves.
I found a nice patch of real estate between two couples, one on either side of me about ten feet away each.
It’s funny how territorial tendencies seem to show up in the least expected ways, even in a hostel like this where movement & energy & socialising is the norm, & private space is limited to your bed in the dorms.
The beds are a sacred space onto themselves here, a place of freedom & peace; bubbles of privacy where people don’t bother you if you look like you don’t want to be bothered.
That is where we go to recharge, regroup our mental energies & recoup our drained reserves.
So I’m standing here between these two couples & it just occurred to me how beautiful a representation of the nature of the world stood right in my immediate surroundings.
To my right, the couple was either arguing or performing a daily mating ritual, I’m not sure.
Sex & aggression are so closely related that at some point I find the distinction meaningless.
For those who’ve had the priceless privelege of having a lot of arguments with your partner, you will know that makeup sex is the best-thing-ever.
Angry, violent, desperate, primal, lustful lovemaking has an allure that can be an addictive release in a relationship that doesn’t have much else to hold it together.
So the couple to my right was arguing, with the girl railing at the guy for some imagined slight, & the one to my left was making out.
And the thing that occurred to me, as I held a lit malboro in my fingers, is this was the perfect representation of duality in nature, where the same thing can present either the Yin or the Yang aspects depending on conditions external to it.
The same relationship that had locked the couple to my left in a deep, semi-permanent embrace, seemed to be a source of infinite hassle to the other.
Out of politeness, & partly out of wanting to observe this insight into human nature a bit more fully, I stood there in my own little bubble, voyeuristically observing the bizarre scene playing out in front of me in this sleepy hamlet.
Finally, the lovely couple making out left, while the other girl continued her high pitched tirade directed at the left eardrum of her poor beau.
She was from Delhi, so I figured it’s business as usual for them.




She flows all over the place.


She’s hard to pin down. Rebutting every advance of mine. Expertly dodging & weaving, almost at hand but just out of reach. I’m her plaything, & she knows it.

And she is mine too. I stubbornly hold my ground, refusing to be swayed by her charms. She gets frustrated when she can’t get me to do as she wants, but I notice the sly smile she tries so hard to hide, but which occasionally escapes as she glances my way.

The spark intensifies. And the attraction kindles into a fire. We both dance around each other, entranced, gyrating in unison, as if guided by an invisible music silently nudging us ever closer.

She is fluid.

She is liquid.

As the endless night beckoned…

As the endless night beckoned, 
Enveloping me in it’s cold embrace, 
One thing kept me sane, 
A glimmer of hope, of grace, 
That when the morning finally came, 
I would have the chance to peer, 
Into the deep fathomless pools that are your eyes, 
And as I looked at the sunrise, 
A nameless elation did arise, 
And I looked upon your face, 
Wiping out the cold night’s last remaining trace.

– Yash Chheda

My Manifesto For Life

Breathe. Slow down. Take a break. Take care of yourself. Play a little. Enjoy the sunlight. Get wet in the rain. Pet a dog. Give a kid a piggy back ride. Look at things a little more closely. Really listen to someone. Feel the music. Travel as much as you can. Accumulate experiences as opposed to things. Make more friends. Cultivate relationships. Read something everyday. Learn something new. Filter the stream of information coming at you. Avoid news media. Make a bucket list. Think about why you added something to the bucket list. Learn to dance. Learn a new language. Stretch and yawn. Meditate. Nurture your inner geek. Create something. Draw. Doodle. Smile at a stranger. Break something. Sit in solitude. Be loud and noisy sometimes. Eat real foods. Eat junk food sometimes. Walk. Hike in the woods. Be the first person up. Stay up late talking on the phone. Spend the whole day playing video games. Clean the room. Don’t clean so much. Wake up late. Spend the whole day in bed…with someone. Laze about. Daydream. Learn to lucid dream. Say thank you. Say sorry. Don’t care about what others say. Don’t apologise for yourself. Sit in nature. Swim in the ocean. Learn to surf. Have a snowball fight. Tease someone. Pinch a girl. Pull her hair. Then give her a present. Be more present. Buy new shoes. Give away your old shoes. Start saving money. Disconnect from social media for a week. Run a marathon. Fail to finish it first time around. Finish a half marathon. Pick up a music instrument. Write a song for someone you love. Actually sing it, even if you suck. Especially if you suck. Read this from time to time. Find ways to destress. Say fuck you to cultural and societal norms. Back off a little if others can’t handle it. Avoid drama. Create a little drama when appropriate. Help an old lady with her shopping bags. Volunteer for something. Donate to something anonymously. Party the night away. Flirt with a stranger. Complain less. Be more patient. Forgive yourself if you throw a tantrum. Make some friends from other parts of the world. Make a bunch of money. Live in another country. Throw away some stuff. Simplify. Get in touch with your body. Be more sensual. Take a cold shower. Be cheesy.

Make your own manifesto.